Trauma is often described as "the elephant in the room"—an enormous, looming presence that influences our lives in ways we may not always recognize. Whether rooted in early childhood experiences or triggered by a single event in adulthood, trauma has the power to shape how we perceive the world, how we relate to others, and how we navigate our everyday lives. Despite its pervasive impact, trauma is frequently overlooked or dismissed, leaving its effects to fester beneath the surface. But as trauma experts like Bessel Van der Kolk, Laurel Parnell, and Peter Levine emphasize, acknowledging and healing trauma is essential for living a full and healthy life.
Early Childhood Trauma: Foundations of Our Emotional Landscape
Our early experiences create the foundation for how we understand the world. As children, we rely on our caregivers for safety, emotional security, and guidance. When trauma occurs during this formative period—whether from neglect, abuse, or witnessing violence—it leaves deep imprints on our emotional and psychological well-being. Dr. Bessel Van der Kolk, in his groundbreaking work The Body Keeps the Score, explains how early trauma becomes imprinted in our nervous system, affecting how we react to stress and relationships well into adulthood.
Van der Kolk argues that "trauma results in a fundamental reorganization of the way mind and brain manage perceptions" and that it often leaves us disconnected from our own bodies and emotions. This disconnection manifests in various ways—chronic anxiety, depression, or difficulty forming meaningful relationships. For some, childhood trauma creates a life-long sense of instability, a constant undercurrent of fear, even if they can't fully identify its source.
Adult Trauma: Single Events with Lasting Impact
While childhood trauma often sets the stage for future struggles, adult trauma can also create profound disruptions in a person’s life. A single event, such as a car accident, assault, or the sudden loss of a loved one, can lead to what Dr. Laurel Parnell, a pioneer in trauma therapy, refers to as “shock trauma.” In her work on EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing), Parnell explains that unresolved trauma keeps our brains locked in a state of hyper vigilance.
These traumatic memories can become stuck, replaying in the mind and body as though the event is still happening. This is why someone might find themselves triggered by something seemingly innocuous—a smell, a sound, or a place—that sends their body into panic mode. Without proper processing, this trauma can seep into every aspect of life, hindering emotional well-being, productivity, and even physical health.
The Unseen Consequences: How Trauma Shapes Our Live
Trauma doesn't just live in our minds; it lives in our bodies. Dr. Peter Levine, in his book Waking the Tiger, emphasizes that trauma is not just a psychological wound, but a physiological one. The body carries the memory of trauma long after the mind has tried to bury it. Levine’s work, alongside that of Van der Kolk, demonstrates how trauma is stored in the nervous system and can manifest as chronic pain, digestive issues, or even autoimmune disorders. The tension, stress, and unresolved trauma trapped in the body can cause a ripple effect, impacting mental, emotional, and physical health.
Unhealed trauma can also impact our ability to trust others, to feel joy, and to experience life fully. It colours how we perceive ourselves—often leading to feelings of shame, guilt, or unworthiness—and how we connect with the world around us. Many people suffer silently, unaware that their chronic health issues or emotional numbness are rooted in unresolved trauma. This is why trauma is often called the "elephant in the room"—it's there, affecting every part of life, yet often unspoken.
Healing the Wounds: The Path to Recovery
While trauma can feel all-encompassing, healing is possible. The first step is recognizing the presence of trauma in your life, no matter how big or small it may seem. Trauma doesn’t have to be a grand, life-shattering event to leave lasting scars. As Bessel Van der Kolk notes, “Being traumatized means continuing to organize your life as if the trauma were still going on—unchanged and immutable.” Healing begins when we stop organizing our lives around the trauma and start actively addressing it.
Approaches like EMDR, somatic experiencing, and trauma-informed therapies help individuals process and release the trauma held in their bodies and minds. Laurel Parnell’s EMDR therapy, for instance, allows clients to process traumatic memories without re-traumatizing themselves, gradually reducing the emotional charge of the event. Peter Levine’s somatic approach emphasizes releasing stored trauma through the body, helping people to reconnect with their innate resilience.
The journey to healing may not be easy, but it is vital. By acknowledging trauma as the elephant in the room of our lives, we can begin to create space for healing, growth, and transformation.
Moving Forward
Trauma may shape us, but it doesn’t have to define us. The more we understand how trauma impacts our lives—from the way we think to the way we feel— the more empowered we become to heal. As Peter Levine wisely reminds us, “The trauma is in the nervous system, not the event.” This means healing isn’t about changing what happened; it’s about transforming how we respond to it.
Healing trauma is an act of reclaiming our lives. It allows us to break free from the invisible chains that bind us to the past and to step fully into the present, with all the possibility, hope, and wholeness it brings.
Your trauma doesn’t have to remain the elephant in the room. By confronting it, you pave the way for a life of healing and freedom.
Much love
Denise 23..9.24
Denise is the founder of the Healing Trauma Process, a transformative approach that combines the power of EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing), Hypnotherapy, and Intuitive Coaching. With a deep understanding of how trauma affects the mind and body, Denise offers a holistic and personalized path to healing. Her unique blend of therapeutic modalities helps clients process and release trauma, while also empowering them to reconnect with their true selves and create lasting change in their lives.
Reach out for a FREE consultation to find out more or to ask any questions.
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